HELLO BEAUTIFUL LADIES AND GENTS!
Todays post isn’t a lecture or a reflection on the men in my life. I mean yeah, I have come across some sexist men on a personal basis. But in this post I’m talking about the men that make cat calls, the ones that stare a little too long, and the ones that put you down for unjust reasons. Whether that be publicly or privately, you need to know that you don’t need to take their shit. I’m going to try to make this blog post as gender neutral as possible, because it isn’t just males that are sexist. But however I’m stating experiences that I’ve had and if it’s with a male, I’m going to say male. Please don’t be too sensitive about this post!!!
DISCLAIMER: I’m also not saying that every time a male calls you cute, you have to explode in their face. And sometimes when a male brings you down it might be because you are in fact a shitty person. Like if you go into class or work and you’re starting unnecessary drama with a boy that you don’t agree on things with, then you do in fact deserve to be put in your place. Verbally not physically.
Both sexes deserve respect and space. I’m honestly trying to avoid females reading this post and then thinking they’re entitled. And I also don’t want people to think I’m a feminist. Because I’m not one! Or at least I don’t call myself one. Like I don’t know what makes a feminist officially a feminist but I can tell you that I’m not that person. But if you are that person, then that’s awesome. I’m empowering you to be yourself!
Now with all of those explanations out of the way, I hope I don’t offend the male race.
(if they even read this post that is lol)
I was inspired to write this because in my class we had to get into groups and talk about current events going on around the world. I brought up that we should mention rape culture and sexism. Immediately my teacher heard me and she told me that I shouldn’t say rape culture. I should say sexual violence. I thought that was weird, like what’s the difference? I guess the word rape intimidates people and the topic gets hushed in a sense. I mean I get it, I don’t bring it up at parties but whatever. This girl in my group asked me what sexism is. In my head I was thinking, “How could this girl not be aware of sexism?”
I brought up things in the media that she might’ve heard about. Like Kesha and that Dr. Luke situation. And she goes “Wait… Dr. Luke raped Kesha?”
I’m not trying to put my peer down, but everyone should be aware of the things happening outside of our little headspace. Especially when it’s about our rights as women in this society.
Rape doesn’t always mean the penis goes into the vagina and that’s rape. Nothing else.
I wasn’t taught that boys trying to persuade you to have sex was rape as well. And I certainly wasn’t taught that if you agree to just give a blowjob because he gave you the “but I’m already hard, can’t you just do something?” that that’s rape too. He manipulated you to give him some sort of service just because he’s hard. Stop letting him manipulate you. How is that our problem? Tell him to go to the bathroom if he can’t control himself that much. I’m also not saying that teasing him to the point of no turning back and then stopping out of the blue is okay either. But regardless, no is literally no. And by the way, whatever gender is doing the manipulating, I’m talking about one night stands and randoms. “Fuck buddies” if you will lolol.
I do believe that there is a slight problem with all these girls making rape allegations when really nothing all that serious went down. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t stand up for yourself. It’s just that there’s no reason to get authorities involved in your sex life and these mishaps that you’re going to someday come across. You should know when it goes too far and when to call the police or a friend for help.
Let me dig in a little deeper. Sex is very important in a relationship that’s sexually active. If you’re waiting till marriage kudos to you but you guys need to please each other somehow. It’s important to keep your partner satisfied. Just make sure that you both want sexy time beforehand before either one of you abruptly stop. Because it is a little rude.
You know those creepy guys that stare and stare and they just don’t give up? When I was younger I had no idea that I had an encounter with a child predator. This was a measly four second thing that happened. But I was in the streets of NYC with a really good friend of mine and running around. And by running I mean trying to get back to a dinner before her parents realized we ditched to go to a candy store lol. I was wearing a tank top and a push up bra. I was clearly like fourteen years old and I thought I was a little ahead of myself. And as we were walking past a group of wall street business men, one of them tried walking towards me, smiling from cheek to cheek and looking at me as if I was a meal. They were cat calling me or us. Don’t ask me what they were saying to me, because I honestly don’t remember.
At the time I was thinking I was hot af and on top of the world. And now when I look back at it, I was a kid running around and men viewed me as a sex object. That’s fucking disgusting.
Just the other day I was picking up chicken at my local food store. There was this old man standing next to the fried chicken that I want and I can see his eyes piercing through my soul. He just kept staring as I was walking up to the shelf next to him. Keep in mind that at this point in my life, I give zero fucks. I was staring right back at him. As I’m walking past him, he turns his body to keep looking at me so I stop to turn around and said, “What?” Lolol. It was just one word but it was intimidating enough because he finally rolled his eyes, and walked away. Really? You’re rolling your eyes at me when you’re the one staring for too long?
When did men of any age think it’s okay to stare at a woman for over five seconds? If you’re staring at me for over five seconds and not even trying to approach me and start a decent conversation, STOP FUCKING LOOKING. And if you’re clearly too old for me, don’t approach me or look at me in general. Just look away. I’m automatically uncomfortable and you’re automatically a freak of nature.
Human beings tend to get very butt hurt when they get rejected. I get it, it’s a kick in the stomach kind of feeling. After working up the courage just to get turned down. But somehow when men and women get turned down sometimes, there’s a switch that flips and all hell breaks loose. They come back at you saying that you’re ugly and stupid. Coming up with all kinds of random slanders against you, even though they don’t even know you. It’s annoying because it’s like… you were just thinking about that person in such a positive and optimistic way. Now suddenly they’re ugly because they don’t want to be associated with you?
It says a lot about a persons character when they try to hurt you after not getting what they want. Remember that you can say no and walk away if they start giving you problems.
One time I was in a house party, and this kid asked me to talk in private. Obviously I was like
So he called me a cunt and flipped me off. Then he disappeared in the crowd. Idk I didn’t see him for the rest of the night. At least I don’t think I did????
How is that right to call a girl a cunt and flip her off just because she rejected you? It’s so beyond fucked up I can’t even believe it. This is how us humans communicate with one another? There are tons of other girls that might fall for your douchebag-esque ways but not me! Chose the wrong one lol.
There are more serious and heart wrenching ways that sexism is displayed amongst us today for us women. But since I’m just a blogger and not a woman studies professor, I’m going to cut it at that. Like I said, this isn’t a lecture! Just don’t take shit from someone. And if some dude says that you can’t carry those grocery bags and offers to help, say no, grab those grocery bags with your twig arms and walk away in victory. Then try to run to your car before your arms snap off and no one sees you. Unless he’s an Abercrombie model. Then in that case let the Abercrombie model be nice and help you with your things LOL.
Thank you guys so much for taking the time to read! I hope I shared some light on topics that no one likes to speak about. I’ll be back around with a beauty post sooner or later!! 🙂